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Moving into a new house. Hafiz went to take all
the boxes, wedding gifts and luggage, and I did all the cleaning; vacuum, mop
and cleaning the toilet. Toilet that shines, that’s the dream! So the cleaning
was a bit harsh and rough. Sental sana, sental sini, cloroxing, berus sana,
berus sini. Little that I know, I was pregnant at that time. My first day of
last period was 27th March.
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Izzz lunch time. This is where things started to
mess up. Hafiz tengah basuh pinggan, I came to help, but then I felt nauseous,
loya sangat sampai kena jauhkan diri. But I didn’t think that was a big deal coz
I haven’t missed my period yet, so ingatkan mungkin bau daging salai tu.
But then I noticed other weird symptoms like
fatigue, cold intolerance, chapped lips, huge headache, dry throat, and rasa
sedih tanpa sebab where I can cry over anything. Terus bagitahu Hafiz, coz
peliklah I used to be so energetic, happy go lucky, and who doesn’t love
aircond right. But then I couldn’t even stand a second speed fan! So we decided
to drop by at angah’s clinic (Hafiz’s cousin) before heading to JB for my
graduation.
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Sampai je, angah suruh explain semua symptoms
and benda pertama dia tanya was I pregnant? I immediately said
no coz tak pernah terfikir pun and I kept track of my period. So he tested my
vision, my heart rate, my bp. Everything was normal except for I have poor eyesight
so mungkin sebab tu selalu pening coz asyik kena focus bila nak tengok
something kan. Then angah suggest untuk buat thyroid test. So I gave some blood
sample and off to JB. Angah akan inform result dalam 2 – 3 hari.
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My breasts started to feel tender and sore.
This
is where it hit me. What if I’m pregnant? My period was a day late now. Tak
berani nak bagitahu Hafiz lagi, coz there was a time where my period delayed
for almost 3 weeks! But that was once in a blue moon, masa tu masih kerja and all
stressed out with my boss, datelines and submissions. Tapi sekarang tenang
sangat, happy je takda stress, stayed at home, eating ice cream and doing
nothing. I have a normal regular period ever since then. So it shouldn’t have
delayed but I decided to give it a week.
I went to Best Postgraduates Student Award later
in heels, walking here and there as if nothing happened.
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Izzzz graduation day!
I never felt so happier
and proud of myself! More standing, walking, posing for pictures for hours in
heels. Kuatnya “awak” sayang <3
Angah text suruh drop by clinic dia. I had this
dialogue in my head: what if he wanted to tell you that you’re pregnant and
congratulate you in person sebab tu taknak bagitahu thru phone. But can blood
sample tells you that? I believe so. But the sample was just enough for thyroid
test. What if I have thyroid issues? This goes on for rest of the day.
Malam tu, Hafiz gave me a full body massage. Masa
tu tengah meniarap, and there was a time where he pressed my lower back; I felt
something weird, a lump maybe, at the ovary area. Masa tu dah macam 50-50 rasa
ni mungkin pregnant ni.
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Nak balik KL dah. So we packed other wedding
gifts, my pc, my clothes and kitchen wares. I carried some heavy stuff to the
car, arranging and rearranging so that everything fits. Bila fikir balik, kuat
betul “awak” sayang kena angkat semua tu ;)
Sampai je clinic malam tu, dua dua nervous.
Angah brought out an envelope and read out all the ranges and figures to us. I
stared at him blankly while he explained the process and result. So yeah I have
hypothyroid which explains the cold intolerance, headache, tiredness and
emotional imbalance. Angah terus prescribed medication. Ada satu benda yang
buat rasa berat sangat, bila angah told me that I have to take the medicine for
the rest of my life. That’s a big and heavy commitment, in other words, it
kinda demotivated me.
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First day of medicine, to take before breakfast
with empty stomach.
Pagi tu, pergi The Curve untuk beli HCG test.
Then Hafiz kena balik BJ to take few things, so I was at home alone.
Impatiently can’t wait for Hafiz return, I took the test.
As soon as I dropped a sample, it drastically
went all purple and gradually turned to white until the first and….. second
lines appeared.
I never did this before so I had to reassure the
two lines mean positive. Over and over again, read and reread.
So….. I am pregnant…
I wasn’t excited but scared AF at first. Probably
sebab tak pernah expect or plan and definitely not prepared for it. We’ve been
married for 8 months and nothing happened. Not that I’m not grateful. It’s just
a lot to think of, financially especially. We just moved in, bought furniture,
haven’t really settled in, I haven’t working yet, Hafiz je been single-handedly
manage all the household expenditure.
But I trust Allah’s plan is the best, with
perfect timing and perfect moment. Alhamdulillah for this rezq He has bestowed
upon us.
Seconds later, I felt the excitement to tell
Hafiz and mak. Terus call Hafiz and told him the good news. Well, he seemed
nervous too, of course, there was a lot to take in. Especially when you don’t
really know what to do, everything seemed new, with the responsibilities and
commitments of becoming a husband, a father and a house leader.
Lepas tu call mak pula to deliver the great
news. She was so happy, praising to Allah again and again for the greatest gift
of all, a second grandchild. Mak congratulate me and Hafiz and wished a good
health for me and the baby.
The greatest gift ever <3
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First day of Ramadhan was the hardest. Perut
rasa sakit je, macam cucuk cucuk. I felt so sick and weak. This was the first
time I felt a terrible hunger strike masa puasa. Seharian baring je takda buat
apa. Hafiz suruh takyah puasa as the baby needs all the nutrition so I need to
eat a proper meal. So I didn’t fast for rest of the month.
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We were told to open the pregnancy pink book. Masa
tu baru 5 weeks pregnant. We stayed at Bandar
Utama. The nearest clinic was TTDI. So we went there for the checkup.
But then, nurse cakap boleh buka buku pink bila
dah 7-11 week pregnant je coz at week 5, the baby was just a small lump, and
kena buat kat klinik kesihatan that caters for our postcode. It’s a bit
ridiculous actually, because we stayed at the south side of Kota Damansara, the
nearest was TTDI with only 5 mins away but due to this policy, we had to travel
for 15 – 20 mins to Klinik Kesihatan Kelana Jaya. Urgh.
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I’m 7 coming to 8 weeks pregnant dah. We decided to go to Klinik Kesihatan Kelana Jaya for a checkup. We took our 1st Trimester baby bump photo together – tak nampak baby bump pun lagi hihi. Hafiz
was more excited than me, he even shaved his beard off, the one he’s been
saving for almost 3 weeks, I gave him time till Raya to chop it off. But he shaved
it today just to make me happy.
Sampai je, penuh gila orang so have to set
another date. The nurse asked my well being, so I told her about my hypothyroid. She said hypothyroid may have occurred due to pregnancy too.
However, just to make sure that the medicine I constantly take every day is
harmless to the baby, she referred me to a doctor.
Honestly, I didn’t know what to expect when we drove to here. I had a feeling that we need to set an appointment so I didn’t
prepare anything. I was wrong. I should’ve brought my prescribed medicine,
doctor’s letter and the hypothyroid result.
So I had an impromptu baby scan just to see that
the baby is safe. Sadly, Hafiz takdapat tengok, dia kena keluar coz ada patient
tengah nursing. The doctor pointed out at the screen, and said there’s
your baby. Honestly, it was all black! I didn’t see anything. There goes my
first baby scan.
I asked the doctor whether pregnancy has
anything to do with chapped lips and dry throat. She said, when you’re
pregnant, you will experience different kind of symptoms. Just drink plenty of
water. So the next meeting, I need to bring utility
bill just to confirm my postcode and my health letter. Just make sure to come
early as the door opens at 730am, by the time of 745am you’re already being
left behind. Ibu ibu tak perlu beratur ya, just as soon as the door opens, go
in and put your pink book in the basket provided. Then you’re good to go.
Yours truly,
CONVERSATION