21/12, Day 1:

Harraz Malique was born at 220 am, weighed 3.18kg and 53cm height. Normal delivery with episiotomy, 8cm opening but Malique dah engaged -1 kat birth canal. He’s 12 days early from his due date (EDD 1/1/2020) and I was 38 weeks pregnant at that time. 

22/12, Day 2:

Been breastfeeding Malique nonstop, suffered cracked nipple. Nasib ada Bepanthen ointment, kejap je baik. Then baru train myself to put nipple butter bfr every feeding: It has become my bestfriend now. Finally got discharged. Malique sihat, mak pun sihat. Alhamdulillah. Susu colostrum still sikit. Tapi nurse kata just bagi je biar baby stimulate susu. 

23/12, Day 3:

Still tak berani mandikan Malique. Just lap2 je. Pampers semua Hafiz tukar coz I still cannot sit properly, sakit :(

24/12, Day 4:

Confinement begins. Woke up at 8am, to freshen up. Mak told me not to bathe for 12 days, just lap2 je. Oh god who created this teory! Pakai kain batik, socks nak elak sejuk, ikat rambut tinggi, sweater nak elak dada sejuk and bengkung for support. Mak urutkan dulu coz I booked my masseuse based on my due date which was in 2 weeks time so to rebook she can only come the earliest is on day 7. Then had my breakfast while Hafiz and mak siapkan Malique. Tali pusat Malique tanggal, cepat je. Hosp ada bagi alcohol rub to avoid bacteria. But once dah tanggal, start guna baby oil nak bersihkan coz alcohol kuat sangat, baby sakit. Nanti bersih je pusat dia. Orang tua2 suruh simpan tali pusat in case for treatment purposes. But ustaz azhar idrus cakap better tanam coz tu daging manusia and once tanggal, akan jadi bangkai and makhluk halus suka kat bangkai. So if you keep it and notice your baby cries every night maybe due to that. Then menyusukan Malique bfr nap. Masa ni still takda feeding pattern, only nursing when he cries or uneasy. I learned the hard way. 

25/12, Day 5:

Mak tolong mandikan Malique. Then nurse datang to check mommy and Malique. Malique had jaundice 💔 And mommy suffered bengkak susu :( Nurse ajar tuam and urut. Kena rajin pump susu. Alhamdulillah kurang dah and susu makin banyak. 

26/12, Day 6:

Started to pump milk for 10 mins every 2 hours with only 1 oz. So bagi direct feeding and bottle feeding. Pergi check Jaundice Malique. His reading was 228, quite high. Normal rate is below 85. Dr said that the only way to reduce it is bagi banyak susu ibu. 

27/12, Day 7:

Had to go to the clinic to check Malique’s jaundice again. Increased to 233. They referred us to the Hospital 💔 had a full body massage and tungku. I booked with Moms Postnatal Care, murah je, RM80 for every visit. My personal Masseuse is Mita, and she’s really nice and friendly, paling penting, she knows what she’s doing. Dia keluarkan semua angin and knots and urutkan bengkak susu, tungku batu and all. now everytime i pump dah boleh reach 3 to 4 oz. this time Malique dah ada feeding pattern where I trained him to wake up for feeding time every 2 hours. So everyday dia akan consume around 25-30 oz for 12 feedings. 

28/12, Day 8:

Went to Hosp Sg Buloh for Malique’s follow up. Masih naik to 244. Esok they asked us to come again. At this point, we tried to explore other alternatives that can help to reduce his jaundice. if reach 308, kena warded and incubate, if belum reach, kena datang hari2 amik darah, mommy cant bear all that 😢 ada yang cakap pergi kedai sensei, mandi with this, consume that, bagi baby makan itu ini. But I stick to breastfeeding only and decided to give sunbathing a try. Jaundice ni lack of Vitamin D, so morning sun is good for that, thats what I read lah. 

29/12, Day 9:

Sharp at 8 am jemur Malique for 2 hours. Hati kena kental tengok alahai kesiannya dia panas. But come to think that incubator lagi panas, sabar jelah. Malique mula ada rashes kat leher.

30/12, Day 10:

Pagi tu still sunbathing 8-10 am. Then off to clinic. This time, luka dah mula sembuh. Dah boleh jalan laju, dah boleh angkat barang jatuh. And Alhamdulillah, Jaundice Malique makin berkurang, from 244 to 189. Jauh tu! Consult with Dr pasal rashes dia, Dr suruh dap with room temp drinking water, then letak baby oil. So since then, we use boiled water and drinking water to bathe him. Alhamdulillah getting better now. Malique is 3.5kg today.  Mommy pun ada checkup today. Nurse check cakap rahim mengeras belah kiri so she asked selalu baring mengiring belah kiri ke. I said yes. Dia kata selalunya time pantang baring terlentang. I didnt know. So petang tu bagitahu Mita untuk urutkan. 

31/12, Day 11: 

Still sunbathing pagi tu. Alhamdulillah, rashes berkurang dah. At this point, I’ve learned that if he cries, it’s either he’s hungry or he needs changing or he’s cold/hot or he’s gassy or he needs to burp or he just needs to be held. Baby boy memang selalu colic. If tak burp after feeding, ada tendency that he’ll vomit or kembung perut. So memang kena burp. But sometimes he’s too sleepy to burp. Kena make sure he burps when he’s awake lepas tu. Part burping tu yang quite challenging. Coz malam2 bila dah bagi susu for sleep feeding, mata dah kuyu dah, then bila burp kan terus mata bulat. And Malique likes his diaper dry, yang ni pun another issue. Dia akan nangis when he peed, so kena tukar pampers, right after you just changed his diaper, he poops. Pampers dia je kena beli seminggu sekali haha bfr this I used Drypers, maybe tak sesuai dengan Malique, dalam sehari dia akan nangis minta tukar pampers dia around 12 to 14. So tukar ke Petpet, maybe selesa sangat pula, dia tak nangis sekerap dulu, sampai lupa pula nak tukar pampers dia, so kena buat schedule for changing diapers for every 4 hour unless dia nangis minta tukar earlier. 

1/1, Day 12:

Dah boleh mandi yay! I finally got to wash my hair. Omg feels so refreshing! I learned to massage Malique today. Using Minyak Daun Ubat TYT, not too hot as compared to yu yi, letak kat perut dia, pusat, betis and tapak kaki, urut2 sikit. Nanti dia selesa sangat sampai terkentut2. Repeat setiap pagi lepas mandi, and petang bfr tukar baju malam. 

2/1, Day 13:

Tragedy Day. Lepas dari our daily routine: sunbathing, nak mandikan Malique. Hafiz pegang Malique as usual, but I felt like air dia still not warm enough, since he has rashes, so we need to use boiled water. So Pergi amik boiled water, then letak kettle tu kat toilet seat, seconds later kettle tu jatuh 💔 paling dekat is me, kaki kanan kena teruk and kaki kiri kena kat tapak kaki. At first I didnt feel anything tapi terkejut and nampak wap panas and I know its hot, terus jerit Panas!! Tolong!! repeatedly, eventho my pain receptor belum receive that pain degree. Masa tu pakai socks pantang tu, Hafiz dengan pegang Malique masa tu dragged me into the shower, bukakan socks, biar air mengalir. If not socks tu serap air panas, burn akan lagi teruk. Masa ni dah mula rasa sakit, I cried my heart out. Hafiz pun gigil2 dengar I screamed and cried macam apa. Then dia letak Malique kat luar, terus call ambulance. 45 mins juga tunggu ambulance sampai. Diorang letak burnt shield then terus ke Hosp Sg Buloh. Please request burnt shield kat tempat burnt tu, if not lagi teruk. Sampai kat kecemasan, Hafiz kena tunggu luar, sebab pegang baby, so nurses yang tolong tolak ke emergency. Sepanjang incident kat toilet, perjalanan pergi and balik, waktu tunggu kat hosp sampai lah kat rumah my MIL, Malique baik je, diam, takda nangis. Mak cakap naluri dia tahu ibu dia tengah sakit so dia taknak susahkan. I dont know bout that but adalah dalam 5 jam dia well behaved takda nangis2 even dalam ambulance with bumpy ride and bising. So i suffered 2nd deg burn kat right foot and 1st deg on my left foot 💔 had to do dressing everyday. 

3/1, Day 14:

Went to clinic for Malique’s jaundice and to do dressing for both of my feet. After days of sunbathing, his reading turun lagi from 189 to 139. Alhamdulillah. 

4/1, Day 15:

Went to private clinic for dressing. This time belajar how to do dressing sendiri kat rumah. So we bought sodium chloride as antiseptic, gauge so that luka tak direct contact kat bandage, cotton balls, gloves, bandage and plaster, can get semua ni kat pharmacy. Dr cakap better leave it open bila kat rumah so that cepat kering. Just wrap it back bila nak keluar takut kena pasir or infection. 

8/1, Day 19:

Sunbathing rituals as usual. Malique still ada jaundice checkup. He’s been identified as prolonged jaundice. This time turun sikit je. From 139 to 131. Kulit dia mula nampak burned sebab jemur. So cuba another alternative. Pergi sensei, beli herbal bath. Kena boil dulu, biarkan sejuk sikit and mandikan Malique 5 days straight guna herbal tu. Air dia warna yellowish. This time berat dia dah 4kg. 

9/1, Day 20:

Sunbathing & herbal bath rituals. 

10/1, Day 21:

Malique meragam teruk malam ni. I learnt about overfeeding. At this time, setiap kali pump boleh reach up to 4-5 oz. Rasa excited sebab I started off with low milk production, so bila dapat reach up to that level, rasa dia lain, so feed Malique at every 2 hours gap with 4oz. Pastu at one point, dia nangis sampai takda suara for almost an hour, susu dah bagi, pampers dah tukar, sampai taktahu apa yang tak kena. Cepat2 letak minyak kat perut dia, tuam, burp kan dia in so many positions. Perut dia keras, burp kan dengan baring dia tak selesa, burp cara tiarap kan dia pun tak selesa, so burp kan dengan letak kat bahu. I’ve learned that, baby from 0-4 weeks is recommended to consume around 2 oz. unless lepas peeing or pooping, perut akan kosong so bagi lagi susu. maafkan mak sayang. I didnt know. So he suffered colic that made him cried all night. Lesson learned: dont overfeed, make sure you burp him and tuam at least twice a day. 

11/1, Day 22:

I noticed that even when he wanted to fart, burp or poop, he’ll cry. When that happens, stop whatever you’re doing and attend to him right away. And if he started to cry his lung out up to the point where he’s out of breath / takda suara, immediately grab him and hug him tightly. Tenangkan dia dulu baru sambung whatever you’re doing if biarkan je, angin boleh masuk bila nangis lama2. At this point, I’ve identified that he’s a High Need Baby that’s always gassy. Not that he’s sick or have health issue, just that it’s his nature, cuma parents kena sabar betul to attend to all his needs. He likes to be hugged, cuddled, to be included whenever and wherever we go (if everyone kat meja makan talking, he hates to be left alone in the room), he knows where the noises coming from, bila bawa sekali letak kat rocker kat meja makan, he would fall asleep eventho kitaorang berbual and gelak2, he would be restless bila dia baring sorang2 and can sleep soundly when me and Hafiz tidur sebelah dia, he likes to be held and bawa jalan2, suka view range dia bertukar2, don't call him naughty, he’s just cheeky and curious ♥

13/1, Day 24:

Went to check Malique’s jaundice again. This time turun from 131 to 116. Dr bagi discharged sebab skin dia mula nampak reddish instead of yellowish. Alhamdulillah. 

21/1, Day 32:

Malique turns 1 month today. At this point, I’ve learned and understand Malique’s behavior. It took me one month of trying and errors to finally adapt to all his needs. It’s a big commitment, pretty exhausting and challenging but that what makes motherhood so beautiful ♥

For High Need Baby Care:

Pacifier helps, it’s a sort of self-soothe, so jangan judge parents who give it to their baby, cari yang orthodonthics, tak kacau tumbesaran gusi. 

Put a lullaby to calm him down at night. Pasangkan and recite him Al-Quran at every maghrib. Sing and talk to him helps too.

Change his sleeping position time to time, meaning, dia senang restless, first cuddle him to sleep, then put him on bed, when he’s awake for feeding, then tukar ke Baby Snuggler, and when he’s awake again, put him in the rocker (Malique slept in this rocker for 2 hours the longest so far), then lastly, hug him tight and let him sleep on your chest or on your lap. In a way, its a skin to skin contact that matters to him.

I know modern parents like me, akan lap guna wet tissue for nappy change, but for rumah yang always with aircond on, you might wanna use warm water and dip the wet tissue in. I noticed dia akan nangis when he’s  cold/hot. Mandi pun guna warm water. 

Rocker with vibration does help to soothe your baby too. It imitates your heartbeat and bloodflow, it’s his comforting motion, just like in the womb :)

For Gassy and Colicky Baby:

Everyday memang Malique memang dah terbiasa mandi pagi and lap2 in the evening. After I bathed him, normally I'd put minyak daun ubat on his stomach, navel, calves and feet. Urut2 sikit then tuam his groin and stomach.

Malique is always gassy, so whenever he's colicky, I wont lay him down, that would him more uncomfortable, I'd laying him facing downwards on my lap or let him sleep on the chest.

I always do burping, it helps to release all the gassiness in him. But there're times where when we do burping after feeding, masa tu lah nak kena tukar diapers, so kena lay him down, he'd vomit. Immediately turned him so that dia tak tersedak vomit dia. Sometimes pun he's too sleepy to even burp. So if you skip burping, make sure his head is higher than his stomach, dont lay him on his back, lay him facing left or right. Make sure to burp him on his next feeding.

We bought anti-colic feeding bottles. But it seems like still not enough. So we bought Air Free Vent from Avent. It helps to reduce his colic.

For Feeding:


Malique has a high demand feeding pattern. So I need to make a schedule to keep track of everything. ❤ stands for when he burps, 💩 when he poops, and the butterfly is for me to pump. Sometimes I'd direct feeding him and sometimes I'd give him thawed milk. His feeding is every 2 hours. Normally I'd leave a 4 hours gap in between each pumping, and powerpumping at 2 am. Daily pumping selalunya buat about 20 mins lepas tu set aside 80 ml for each cup and letak kat chiller, senang nak thaw whenever in need. Powerpumping ni buat 3 sessions, 20 mins pump, rest 10 mins, 10 mins pump, rest 10 mins, and another 10 mins pump, boleh dapat up to 200 ml, letak dalam breastmilk storage bag and secure it in the freezer, can last up to 3 months. Sometimes kalau terlebih rajin, buat je powerpumping,  pakai handsfree pump bra, then pumponthego, boleh buat stock susu banyak2 ♥

19/12

It’s our 16th Monthsarry. Hafiz bought a slice of Choc Indulgence. Spent time together. Malam tu suddenly rasa macam period pain, towards the end ni selalunya bila baby gerak memang akan ada rasa ngilu. But this time rasa ngilu kuat but still bearable. So I just let it be. 

20/12 - 21/12

Bangun2 tengok ada spotting, one two drops je. Supposedly, tanda2 bersalin, besides than contraction, lendir berdarah, water broke and baby kurang gerak. Make sure pakai pad so that you’re aware of what’s happening. Spotting ni tak sure but since dah 38 weeks, so memang kena g hosp. Tapi sempat lagi breakfast, mandi, basuh rambut, Hafiz siap pakai cantik2 katanya nak sambut Malique sebab takrasa sakit lagi so still boleh bertenang. 

Terus g wad bersalin kecemasan. Daftar cakap ada spotting. Dia minta kad nikah, ic, kad fpp and buku pink. Pastu kena tunggu terus kat bilik 18 Dr nak check Vaginal Examination (VE). Hafiz kena tunggu luar. I is sad. So pack siap2 makanan and air bawa masuk. Kat dalam tu kena tunggu kat kerusi sampai nurse panggil nama.

Dr check VE dah 2-3cm. Sakit gak kena seluk ni. Asyik terangkat punggung. Dr kata jangan angkat, kena relax kan kaki. Tapi tak biasa. So mula2 agak struggling nak maintain position. Pastu g check CTG pergerakkan baby and contraction. Dia akan bagi kain pink untuk tukar and strip untuk kencing atas tu. Alhamdulillah kencing semua normal. Pastu dia suruh baring and ikat scanner kat perut, tight enough that makes you uncomfortable. Alhamdulillah, baby aktif. So tak lama pun dalam tu, around 15 mins je. Kalau tak aktif kena duduk 30 mins or 1 jam or lebih. Contraction level still zero. So far semua okay, paling sakit kena seluk je.

Mental kena kuat. Macam2 dengar. Baby nangis, mak menangis, mak menjerit.

So dapat discharged. Went for lunch, had ice cream Mcd, balik tu siap amik gambar, suddenly terus rasa contraction. Our last picture together bfr two becomes three ♥ Contraction dalam setengah jam sekali. So i thought takda apa coz still boleh tahan. Hafiz ada client pula petang tu and I had plans with Illi and Arda after maghrib tu. But then around 5.30 pm tu contraction occurred within 15 mins. Terus call Hafiz, canceled everything and rushed to the Hosp. But traveling on Friday evening after working hours is no joke. Jam teruk. Sampai Hosp around 7 ish. Daftar again, cakap contraction. This time memang dapat rasa kena tahan and bersalin harini. 

Around 8 ish, VE dah 5cm, tapi still takda katil, so kena duduk tunggu. Contraction on off. Kuat lagi berjalan cari Hafiz sebab lapar. Masa tengah jalan tu tiba2 kena contraction, diri berpaut kat railing sampai nurse nampak terus amik guna wheelchair. 2 jam juga tunggu baru dapat katil.

Around 10 ish, VE dah 6cm. Masa ni dah takboleh duduk diam. Baring pun sakit. Nak makan pun susah, contraction setiap 5 mins. But make sure makan if not takda tenaga nak push. I managed to eat nasi goreng kampung and 5 biji kurma out of 7, nak makan sebiji2 tu pun seksa. Sampai at one point, around 1 ish in the morning, memang rasa nak push dah. Panggil nurse. Dia check pembukaan dah 8cm, and baby dah engage kat birth canal at -1. terus kena tolak ke labor room. Masa ni dah takboleh makan minum dah. So make sure to keep yourself hydrated bfr ke labor room. Tapi still takboleh push, diorang nak tunggu sampai 10cm juga. They say first baby diorang memang akan tunggu sampai 10cm. The most painful feeling is when you know you’re ready to push tapi still kena tahan, nak tahan dari ter-push tu yang sakit coz baby memang dah kat bawah. So letak CTG scanner kat perut, tengok heartbeat baby and level of contraction pain tu. Around 2am, memang dah gigil2. Nurse pun dengar contraction pain kat mesin tu makin naik, dia tanya awak memang nak push ke? I said YES! Tak boleh tahan dah. Check pembukaan still 8cm. Terus panggil Dr. Dr pecahkan air ketuban and tengok mungkin baby dah kencing dalam tu, so memang kena push. I told you I am ready to push since 1 am tadi. Thankfully, tak nangis, I tried to reserve all the energy left in me, focussed on one thing: to push. Hafiz tolong selawat kat telinga, dengar nurses ajar breathing and push when contraction occurred. Since pembukaan still 8cm, so they had to do episiotomy, plus first baby memang usually they will perform episiotomy. About 20 mins later, Alhamdulillah Harraz Malique was born with normal delivery at 220am, on the 21st of December, weighed 3.18kg, 53cm height. I dont know how to explain the relieved feeling masa they pulled Malique out, together with tali pusat yang quite heavy. Perut terus rasa lega and kempis. I didnt know what happened masa tu, apa diorang buat, just rasa sakit and tiba2 lega je. Hafiz saw everything, so when they pulled Malique out tu Hafiz terus nangis. Diorang letak kejap Malique on me, the first sentence i said was “Handsomenya anak mak ♥” then they had to take Malique to check his condition and bersihkan dia terus since dia dah kencing dalam kantung. So i only got to hold him for awhile. Then they jabbed me ubat kecutkan rahim and pain relief for jahitan, jahit luka (3 layers) tapi tak rasa sakit just rasa geli2 ngilu, i guess pain relief tu quite strong then they check ada darah beku left tak. After all that, Hafiz bawa g toilet untuk bersihkan diri and pakaikan pampers. Terketar2 jalan, darah mengalir2. Then Hafiz bought some porridge and chocs to fill in bfr warded. Everything happened in a split seconds. So you dont really feel any pain that is worst than contraction. They brought Malique in, Hafiz azan and iqamat kan, dia diam je. Best feeling ever ♥ then I was told to give him his first penyusuan: Colostrum milk.

Petang tu, Dr datang nak check whether jahitan intact tak, and darah beku where they put one finger in and see if its darah beku or just darah nifas. Alhamdulillah semua okay. Malique pun normal, so esok dapat discharge. 

22/12

Malique got his BCG and Hepatitis B injection. Nangis for a second sebab terkejut then tidur balik. He’s such a good boy ♥ Dr datang lagi check jahitan and darah beku. Boleh discharged dah. Siap dengan orientation and free gifts. Overall, Hosp Sg Buloh ni best, nurses semua friendly, makanan sedap and you’re well treated. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My favorite shower corner.

Since I was confirmed pregnant, I kinda changed everything to organic, and I love it.

And of course, lastly my favorite Urban Retreat Spa at The Curve for a full body massage to go to every month. Tak mahal pun, cheaper than Thai Odyssey :)

** This list I got from other website, so I'll update and marked it with ** based on my experience, apa yang perlu apa yang tak. And this post is for FPP or government Hosp, private mungkin lain. Upon registering for delivery, please bring all the bags. Jangan tinggal kat kereta coz normally you won't be getting parking that's close to the emergency area (labor room). In my case, bawa bag baby je, bag mommy tinggal, so lepas give birth, nurse minta Hafiz pakaikan pad and all, sekali takbawa, takkan nak tunggu Hafiz g kereta ambil, jauh, so end up, pakailah hospital pad yang tebal and tak selesa tu. But if it's only you and your husband je kat emergency tu, like me, yang penting is, mommy's bag & food stock, because it's impossible to carry everything and had to push the wheelchair at the same time. Breast pump bag and baby's bag only needed when you've been assigned to a room.

A. The Essentials:

1. Toiletries Bag
2. Towel
3. Self-Care Pouch
4. Laundry Bag

Toiletries Bag:

1. Shower Gel, Wudu' Bottle, Lotion, Bio-Oil & Shaver
2. Nursing Bra (2 pcs) & Adult Diaper (8 pcs)
3. Silicone Milk Collector
4. Nipple Care: Bepanthen Ointment, Earth Mama Nipple Butter, Cotton Pad (8 pcs) for nipple cleaning (always clean your nipple if not sumbat) & Breast Pad (8 pcs)
5. Toothbrush & Toothpaste

Self-Care Pouch:

1. Lip Tint (taknaklah pucat je lepas bersalin)
2. Compact Powder (mommy pun kena cantik2)
3. Hairband (ni selalu hilang, so bawa extra)
4. Minyak Panas
5. Wet Tissue
6. Vicks

B. Clothes Bag:

1. Front Button Blouse (1 pc - easy for nursing)
2. Tudung Sarung (2 pcs)
3. Kain Batik (2 pcs - untuk lap-lap)
4. High Socks (3 pcs)
5. Anti-Slip Socks
6. Slipper Sarung senang pakai dengan socks
7. Nursing Cover (in case you're expecting visitor while breastfeeding)
8. Telekung
9. Sweater

1. Mug, one for hubby one for me
2. Foodstock - energy bars (snickers, oatskrunch, chocs, oreo), Milo, Overtine, Kopi Jantan for Hafiz, Steel Straw, Fork & Spoon
3. Bottle Water & Air Zam Zam

Baby's Bag:

A. The Essentials:

1. Baby Towel with hood as Blanket
2. Muslin
3. Baby Wipes
4. Toiletries: Baby Wash, Minyak Yu Yi, Baby Brush, Nappy Cream, Washcloth
5. Liquid Wash & Brush
6. Nappy Sack
7. Thermos

Separate kan guna ziplock and make sure letak label, so it's easier for Hafiz to identify and pack things back upon discharging. If not kelam kabut nanti.

B. Grooming & Diapering:

1. Day One (Labor Room):

• 2 piece clothes with attached mittens & booties (1 pc - easier for nurses nak take off pants for injections / tengok pergerakkan kaki baby)
• Baby Hat (1 pc - takut sejuk)
• Binder (1 pc)
• Pampers (1 pc)
• Napkin (1 pc - for lap2)

4 pcs separated into 2 ziplocks for day 1 & 2.

Breastpump's Bag:

• Breastpump & Charger
• Milk Storage Bags
• Marker
• Newborn Feeding Bottle